Today I will be writing about how just a year ago, I placed God’s name on a thought that wasn’t his.
One thing you’ll learn about me, as you read my blogs is that I am very transparent and very open with sharing my mistakes and just actually open with sharing anything about myself. I’m not ashamed of ANYTHING I’ve been through or did because without the mistakes and lessons I wouldn’t be who I am today.
“Be grateful for the mistakes you make because after the mistake comes correction, with correction comes the lesson and after the lesson comes growth.” – Terran Robinson
Around the time I started dating my boyfriend, I’m going to be completely honest I didn’t desire to be his girlfriend. Why? Because I was fearful, I thought I wasn’t ready, I thought we needed to be friends for a longer period of time, I was still holding onto bits and pieces of my past relationship hurts and issues, I had family and friends in my ear telling me that I needed to just wait and be his friend, I was even telling myself that I needed to just wait it out, heal more, allow God to heal me more, ALL of that blah blah. NOT knowing that me actually taking the leap and getting into the relationship with my boyfriend was me showing God that I trust him with my heart and that I believed that he answered my prayers by sending me JeVaughn.
So I prayed and asked God while me and my boyfriend were just friends if I should get into a relationship and I instantly heard “just be friends with him and keep waiting.”
Let me stop right here and just say that thought was not sent from God. That was simply my feeling and my thought mixed with what others wanted and thought I should do.
That “just be friends” thought was comfortable for me. I wanted to just be friends because I was afraid of being hurt again BUT yet I was praying and asking God to send me true love and a man that was after God’s heart. (proof that I didn’t trust God 100%) and plus it’s what everyone wanted me to do so of course I ran with that feeling. (Proof that I cared way too much what others thought and felt.)
Don’t pray for something and then be scared and hesitant when God places it in your life. – Terran Robinson
And with all of that showed that I didn’t give God time to even really answer my question. I ran with what I wanted him to say. #MistakeNumber1.
Honestly! In the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend and I received so many confirmations that we were each others answered prayers, but YET I still over looked the facts for my feelings and also others feelings.
God’s thoughts are far more greater than your own. This is why we must have a clear mind and pure heart when seeking God for his guidance because it’s so easy to mistake Your desire for God’s desire. – Terran Robinson
Long story short, despite ALL feelings I had I still said yes to being my boyfriend’s girlfriend when he asked and then a month into the relationship, my boyfriend and I ran right into our first argument/issue and that’s when that comfortable thought of “just being friends and waiting” came back. I really thought just being friends would change things. Smh
When things were bad that’s when that feeling occurred but then when things between us were great, I was great and wasn’t thinking about being friends not one bit.
I felt a little pain, unease and emotion and wanted to run back to where it was comfortable. I even expressed to an ex friend that “GOD told me to just be friends and wait for JeVaughn.” Which was far from true! #MistakeNumber2&3
The only reason I told her that was because 1. She was one of the ones telling me I should wait and be friends (guard my heart) So I knew she would agree and side with me (not knowing that was going to hurt me in the future) and 2. I simply needed to vent. I was a little hurt by the situation and I just “knew” that God wouldn’t take me out of a toxic relationship to place me in one that I would be having normal issues in. I really thought that God was going to place me in this perfect relationship, with this perfect already made up man that just knew how to love me, and treat me.
Lol. I really laugh at this now because I see that God doesn’t work like that! All relationships go through and I had to learn that. The person doesn’t come all the way put together either. No one is perfect. There’s levels to this thing!! You will have certain strengths that help your significant other and your significant other will also have certain strengths that help you. I placed God in such a small box #MistakeNumber4 and literally in that box was just my desires and fantasies and not any of God’s truths, thoughts or desires. #MistakeNumber5 Wow.. Crazy right? Lol. God is a good God.
If this blog isn’t helping anyone else, I know it’s helping me become more open and FREEEEEE. Praise The Lord! Serving it’s very purpose for myself. Which is a blessing!
SOME LESSONS LEARNED
- Do not place God in a box.
- Do not expect God to work around you and your ways.
- Do not expect God to honor your thoughts because they’re your thoughts. (What’s in your heart though?) Psalm 37:4-5 God sees your heart!
- Do not use God’s name in vain.
- Be very careful who you vent to.
- Nobody is perfect.
- Mistakes are blessings in disguise.
- Allow God to have full control.
- Trust God with every single inch of your heart. Proverbs 3:5-6.
- Be confident in God, in yourself and in what you know you prayed for, desire and deserve.
- Let go of others thoughts and opinions
- Let go of your own thoughts and opinions and pick up the Lord’s truths.
Thank you all for reading, I really do appreciate it!
Praying and believing my moments will serve a purpose in a readers life.
Loveeeeee T 💛